Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I love having hate sex.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
