You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize