How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
