I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
