You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
