Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
