Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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