i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Moan for me like Helen Keller
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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