I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
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