how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
