Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize