we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
In America we eat man semen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
