if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
