I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
