i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
