I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
