she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
