Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
