Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
