no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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