I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
