Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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