i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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