Sacagawea was the original milf.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
