I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
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