First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
