The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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