It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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