It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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