You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
