but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
