He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
