But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
