I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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