Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
