the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize