So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think my vagina is haunted
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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