i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
