When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
