i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
