I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
