weddingsv make me drug and hornr
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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