i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
