Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize