So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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