Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize