Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We smell like vodka and hangover
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
