girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize