3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you are never too drunk for berry picking
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
