Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
