If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
