Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
