i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize