it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
