My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
