That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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