Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
