how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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